Hey hey hey friends. I've been balls deep in all the goodness of SXSW! The learnings, the panels, the people, the food, the atmosphere. This festival has been everything I ever wanted AND MORE. I promise to write a recap of this trip but for right now, I need to get something off my 34DD chest. I hate to admit this, but I've spent a fair amount of time here being seriously fired up about some things that have been said on a couple panels that I have attended. Specifically, at panels addressing the issue of the lack of women in tech. This topic has been gaining some serious momentum over the last few years. As a lady computer scientist that has developed software in the tech industry and now as a recruiter for software developers, I can't avoid being in the middle of this ongoing conversation. There are A LOT of topics that I could address on this issue, but the one I want to focus on in this post, the one that has me absolutely BALLS TO THE WALLS PISSED- is the feeling that I am grossly misrepresented as a woman in tech by other women in tech sitting on these panels.
So let's just get right into it. On my first day at SXSW, I attended my first "women in tech" panel. There were 3 panelists, 2 of which were fine. On their own, I would have felt moderately moved by the things they had to say. However, this last panelist basically embodied everything I didn't know I hated about boisterous figure heads aggressively "advocating" for women in tech. She used most of her speaking time (which she sniped from the other panelists) to demand egalitarianism in business. Her demeanor was aggressive, cocky, and snarky. As someone who considers herself hella bossy (or rather, full of moxxie), I promise you I am not abusing the word, aggressive, to describe this woman. She was batshit crazy, y'all.
Example:
During Q&A, a male audience member asked her what he could do to promote equality in the workplace. (Woo! You go, dude!)
Answer: I SHIT YOU NOT SHE SAID, "If your manager offers you a promotion or a raise in salary, you should REFUSE the raise and state that you will not accept the increase in salary until your female peers are making the same amount of money."
DAFUQ? NO. To be fair, I get that she's trying to make a statement about equal pay for men and women, but what seriously irks me is that her answer is based off sensational, sweeping generalizations and lacks a sincere, reasonable and most importantly responsible approach to addressing the issue of equal pay. Her suggestion, or demand rather, was just unbelievably shallow, I can't even dissect all the ways that it was ridiculous. For an article that eloquently NAILS IT harder than I ever could, please read this.
Okay, but to make matters even more unbearable, she went on to say "If you do this, two things will happen. #1. We'll think you're super sexy (insert incredibly awkward attempt at sexy smoulder face and uncomfortable eye contact with male audience member here) and #2. Your business will be successful because businesses that have equal representation of men and women are proven to be successful"
First of all, EW WHAT? Telling ANYone that a motivator for doing something will be sexual approval is fucking disgusting. Don't you DARE include me in your "We." It's not that I don't agree with the core points she was trying to make, it is that I deeply disagree with the way she was presenting it and even more so, the way she was trying to force it on the audience. The way she was addressing the males in particular, she was basically shaming them for being men in tech. Rather than an open, inviting dialogue to welcome men into this discussion, it was basically a scolding. WHOA LADY. These dudes took time out of their kickass sxsw day to choose this session among HUNDREDS of hella cool options. These people are our ALLIES. Why are you disrespecting them?! We need to work TOGETHER and this "you're either with us or against us" bull shit needs to GTFO.
What disturbs me the most is the potential of this woman having significant influence on others in the industry that are invested in this issue. I had a male coworker in attendance with me at this session and he expressed an overall feeling of not having the right to have an opinion on the subject matter presented at the panel. After a little back and forth with him, I can understand why he finds it difficult to decipher the direction of action he should take after attending panels like this because he's making such a sincere effort to listen to the "experts" on the panel.
Holy fuck balls. Honestly, there are so many more tidbits that I could rant about but I don't want this post to turn into a 100% bash fest. Here's what I really need to say. I am tired of attending panel after panel and seeing women in tech pinned into just two categories. Apparently, as a women in tech, you're either a timid, quiet, modest genius that suffers from imposter syndrome, or you're a LOUD, SEXAY, UNAPOLOGETIC-FOR-ALL-THE-CRASS self-proclaimed-BITCH who is TOO-BAD-ASS-FOR-YOU maven.
FUCK THAT. I refuse and reject your representation and advocacy on my behalf as a woman in tech.
Confident, compassionate, collaborative, self-aware sistas in tech, where you at? I KNOW you are out there. I've frequently hung out with y'all in my classrooms, at my workplace, attending conferences, living life. When I think about who I want to represent me I think about all of the incredible women and men who have influenced my success and career in the tech industry. Please, those of you that have well-formed, well-educated perspectives on women in tech, take every advantage that you can to represent our voice at forums like this. Audience members at panels like these are eager and poised to help. You don't have to convince them that there is a problem (the data is clear). They are looking for guidance and inspiration on meaningful ways to contribute and it is so important that these suggestions come from a voice of reason.
Before I leave, I absolutely must compliment two women that I observed on another panel about empowering girls in STEM. Mae Jemison, the first African American women IN SPACE and Kimberly Bryant, founder of Black Girls Code. These women were so on point and I fan-girled SO HARD when I greeted them after the talk. We took this giant group photo and I got to stand next to Mae!! IT'S NOT EVERY DAY YOU GET TO MEET AN ASTRONAUT, YOU GUYZ! I'm still in search of the photo and will update this post when I find it! One more special shout out to Professor Ron Libeskind-Hadas, a member on the same panel and chair of computer science at Harvey Mudd College, where their department is 40% female. I loved hearing about how they made intentional changes to the curriculum that resulted in their increase in female students. More speakers like these PLEASE!
Thank you for making it through my rant. Once again, this blog comes through as an incredibly satisfying personal platform and I sincerely appreciate your support.
