Kitch Hitch: Vietnam Meets Nigeria

Hi Y'all! Happy Fall! I just got back from an incredible wedding weekend adventure in Yosemite National Park! Mitch and I, along with Kasey and Niky got to witness the epic marriage of our two friends, Mandi and Eric, in an insanely gorgeous setting. I have a whole week's worth of blog posts from our shenanigans but THIS WEEK is dedicated to a different marriage- my own!

Last November, Mitch and I made the mutual decision to get married. Two weeks later on December 4th, 2015, we did. BTW I totally had to look that date up (no shame :P). We scheduled an appointment with the first judge that was available, invited a handful of very close friends and celebrated after our courthouse ceremony at the Old Spaghetti Factory with a DQ ice cream cake. I know that sounds so insanely practical, maybe almost too straightforward but our family and friends would tell you that is the most Kim & Mitch (aka Kitch) way to get married EVER. We are pragmatic people when it comes to these type of things.

I was never the type of little girl that day dreamed about her wedding day. To be clear, no shade to the girls that do but it just wasn't something that little Kim thought about it. As adult Kim, I didn't put a ton of emphasis on marriage as a milestone for our relationship. I mentioned it once, early on when we were trying to define the seriousness of our relationship.

Side Bar: Our relationship was one of our favorite discussion topics as a young couple. How we felt about our relationship, how we felt the other behaved in our relationship, conversations about conversations we had in our relationship- it was a bit overkill sometimes. It felt like we constantly talked about the state of our relationship back in those early days but it was a huge factor in developing our communication styles between each other and learning how to give feedback to one another. Those talks were often challenging, but I developed so much as a person, especially in my empathy skills, while participating in those discussions with Mitch.

I had been vocal early on about wanting marriage to be in our future. I think I phrased it like, "Please only continue to be in a relationship with me if you think marriage is a possibility". I didn't have a timeline for it but I wanted to be clear that I wanted a relationship that was going somewhere long term. And now that I really think about it, my request to Mitch was more about me wanting him to stay only if he felt building a life together was something he would eventually want. It was my way of asking him to actively choose our relationship. We didn't speak of this often, but it was a good way to check in with each other whenever we had our bumps in the road. HEY- do we still see a future here? Are we still in it to win it? Marriage was never an end goal in these conversations, but for us at the very least, it was one of our checkpoints. At just 4.5 years in, we found ourselves confidently and consistently answering YES to those questions. We eventually arrived to a point in our relationship where no matter what challenges came up, we knew we were committed to working through them.

So here we are :) Does it feel different to be married? No lie, it is fun AF to call Mitch my husband. Mitch is unbelievably gorgeous, undeniably intelligent, relentlessly driven, lovingly kind, and above all else, extremely thoughtful. And I am lucky enough to call this human my person! FOREVER! Being married has made us more comfortable in talking about those long term, financial commitments together but as most couples would agree, it hasn't changed how our relationship fundamentally works. I told you earlier, we are extremely pragmatic :P We still talk quite a bit about our individualistic wants and needs in the context of our relationship. And we're still growing and working through our differences. But yea, I have to admit it feels pretty fucking awesome to have reached this milestone.

I feel beyond grateful to have found and more importantly, earned this partnership with Mitch. I consider it one of my life's greatest works to have built this foundation for our life together. The possibilities for where we could go next feel limitless

I am so happy to have these photos to commemorate this time in our life. As much as this post is about diving into marriage without the fanfare, the one thing I knew I wanted was an epic photo session (hello, have you met me?!). it is wonderful to have an excuse to gather our families together and take photos that I will literally cherish for the rest of my life. We took these on a warm day in August, the day before threw ourselves a giant party (more on that in my next post). These photos represent a beautiful, crazy fusion of our cultures.

My parents are from Vietnam and Mitch is from Nigeria so we thought it would be cool to wear traditional outfits that showed off our cultures. In Nigeria, it is typical for each side of the family to wear matching, contrasting prints for the wedding ceremony so you know who is from the groom's side and who is from bride's side. Although we didn't have a ceremony, we loved this concept for photos. We picked purple for Mitch's family and yellow for mine. Mitch's family wore traditional Igbo outfits and mine wore traditional Vietnamese ao dais (literally translation is long shirt/blouse). My brother and sister-wifey had our ao dais, along with their ao dais and my parent's ao dais handmade in Little Saigon in California. For Kasey and Niky, we ordered these chinese qipao dresses last minute (Amazon prime, holla!) since we couldn't find ready-made ao dais that we liked. Technically, my grandfather is from China, so I think we can let is slide :) Mitch's mother had all of our Nigerian outfits made in Nigeria before she came to visit us.

Mitch and I had two sets of clothing. The red and blue outfits are a typical wedding outfit for Vietnamese brides and grooms. Doesn't Mitch look out-of-this-world uhhhhmazing in his blue brocade? I can't get over it. The gold designs on my ao dai are hand drawn. Up close, it's essentially gold puffy paint :D For my Nigerian outfit, my maxi skirt+blouse combo is less traditional (although to be quite honest, I'm not sure exactly what is traditional), but I am so stoked to wear this maxi skirt out in the real world. Hands down the best part of our outfits were our crowns! Each of our outfits was topped off with beautiful headwear.

In addition to celebrating our cultures, these photos celebrate the most important people in our lives, the ones who shaped us into who we are today. My favorite part of this day was witnessing our two families come together for the first time. It was perfect. As you can probably tell, we had a ton of fun taking these photos.

I can't say enough good things about my favorite photographer in the world, Dara Oke. These photos speak for themselves but she is incredible to work with. Spending your hard earned dollars on an exceptional photographer is rarely something you regret. The hard part is getting time on their busy books :) I am so grateful she shared her talent and artistry with us.

This day will forever be remembered as one of my favorite days in the history of ever. Many reasons to be beyond grateful.

Until we meet again!
Kim

Whoa. Hi. Hello. Long Time No See!

Damn, y'all. HEY! It has been a hot second, amiright?! Sorry #notsorry for the hiatus #okaykindofsorry, but priorities in life shifted and when I need to drop something, the blog is the first thing to go. Life hasn't slowed down, but after getting through a crazy summer, I've decided it's time for me to bring the blog back :) Fingers crossed this revival sustains the test of my fall travel schedule!

So, what have I been up to? I know it's lame and self indulgent to complain about how busy you are, but here's what has been #forreals occupying my life these last 4 months:

Kitch Hitch

After going back and forth, Mitch and I decided to throw ourselves a reception to celebrate our marriage last December. THIS has been priority #1 for the last 4 months. TBH, we didn't really feel like a reception was necessary, but complete fomo on commemorating a momentous occasion in our relationship with our beloved friends and family motivated us to get our shit together. At the end of April, we secured a venue for August 21st (our 262nd day of marriage) and proceeded full steam ahead to throwing the biggest party of our lives. With the help of our amazing friends, we DIY'd the shit out this soiree. We grew our own succulents for the party favors and centerpieces, made our own flower wall (more on that to come!), had an EPIC Nigerian/Vietnamese fusion family photo session (definitely more on that to come!) and convinced our favorite restaurant, Araya's Vegetarian Place, to cater delicious thai food for our celebration. Was it stressful AF? YAS. Was it worth it? FUCK YAS!

Summer at Microsoft

Once the interns got here, this blog didn't stand a chance. Between hosting a 500+ person Intern Hunger Games event, spoiling my intern class with boba+ice cream on a weekly basis, bonding with my students by taking ALL the cooking classes (pizza, gnocchi, risotto!), hanging out with Elle Goulding and wrangling the 1700+ intern class with my 100+ Microsoft BFFs, I barely had time to water the succulents for Kitch Hitch. It has been a COMPLETE BLAST and I wouldn't trade these wild and crazy summers for anything. But for reals I love you, it's time to go home. I'll see all y'all out on campus (we're going to Disneyland!!!) or when you eventually return to me+Microsoft (where you know you belong!).

Living the shit out of life

Mitch and I somehow got adopted by a slew of power couples that want to take us on exceptional excursions. In the past 4 months we've been on two super romantic surprise PNW getaways with our extremely photogenic group of friends (it's a long story #obb), to Oklahoma City for an insanely lit Nigerian wedding, to Anchorage Alaska for ultimate nature bonding, to Portland (twice), and last but not least, had a rad weekend at Lake Chelan, a classic Washington weekend destination. We've been enjoying all of the delightful things a Seattle summer has to offer. I'm not sure how we got so lucky but I will happily and gratefully count my #blessings!

When I am so squeezed for time I find myself rationing out my minutes, it's important to pause and appreciate where my time has gone and remember why (and really figure out if) it was worth it. Looking back, I want to remember the positives but it's healthy to acknowledge the negatives as well. My main strategy for stress management has been to keep myself as even keeled as possible, not letting myself get overly excited about the festivities or get too down when my endless to-do list seemed insurmountable. Keeping a leash on my emotions was completely necessary for surviving this crazy summer, but it was also important for me to emotionally process all of my feelings once I had the head space and the time to do it. Pro tip, don't go too long without processing or you're going to freak the fuck out :P

Anyways, with the leaves already beginning to fall to the ground (thanks, Seattle), I am ready to welcome a new pace to my life. An endless summer sounds wonderful in concept, but I'll gladly take the change in seasons this time around.

I hope y'all had a super relaxing+productive labor day weekend! Until the next!

Rainbow Sheath via clearance at H&M
Sandals Ninewest via clearance at DSW

So, You're Thinking About Becoming a Recruiter?

Hi friends! I know I've been a little MIA on the blog. Ever since coming home from fall travels, I've gone full on hermit mode to get shit done. I get a surprising number of inquiries about my job, so I thought I should lay it all out in a blog post for those that want to be in the know. This an interesting time for me to write a post like this because  this is when my job is its hardest. It's for the best though- you're going to get the real real from me on this one.

This post is super specific to recruiting software engineers currently enrolled in universities for opportunities at Microsoft. You should be aware that recruiting experiences are really going to vary depending on which company you're recruiting for, the roles you're recruiting for, the type of candidates you're recruiting (industry vs. college). One of my favorite things about recruiting is that each recruiter has their own distinct style and you can really bring your individuality to the job. This post isn't going to be able to tell you exactly what recruiting will look like for you, but it will hopefully give you a few examples of what you may be in for if you choose to pursue a similar career.

TLDR summary of my job: I am assigned a set of schools to recruit at (this year it's 5, last year it was 4). At each school, I am given a goal for full time hires and a goal for intern hires (currently, exclusively for software engineering roles). I'm assigned a budget for each of my schools, which is pretty generous. I do whatever the eff I need to do to find my hires and stay within budget.

University recruiting has a very specific cadence: Let's start with fall (right now), when we're operating at 1000% (AHHHHHH). My job requires a healthy amount of travel, typically 6 - 8 weeks per year, averaging 2 weeks per school. In the fall (September and October), my schedule revolves around career fairs. In between the career fairs, I fill my schedule with various events like office hours, presentations, sell dinners, coffee chats and coding competitions. I try my best to make it easy for students to meet Microsoft while we're on campus. My goal is to make as many face to face connections as possible and forge meaningful relationships with top candidates. I take every opportunity to share what Microsoft is all about and educate students about our recruiting process. I have 4 - 7 engineers (aka soldiers #teamkim #loveyouforever) out on the road with me to help evaluate candidates, share their experiences, keep me sane and when they're feeling incredibly generous, stay up with me until 2 AM to complete ridiculous "bitch work" endeavors like sorting through hundreds of resumes and hand typing information into our database. You can't do this job alone, y'all and I am unbelievably lucky to have the best people willing to take time out of their lives help me recruit the best and the brightest. Actually, the best part of being on the road for me is spending time with my coworkers friends and working together to get shit done. Teamwork makes the dream work, y'all! During fall travel, I'm going pretty hard, spending every waking moment working in order to be responsive to the flood of emails and keep up with deadlines (ie. Submitting 50-100 candidates for interview scheduling several times throughout the season) .

When I return home, I'm still going hard but I get to do it from the comfort of my own home and office. During this time, volume management is what is up. For each school, I go through hundreds of resumes to give about 100 students a shot at first round interviews with us. From there, typically 30-50 kill it and we bring them home for final round interviews. Through October, November and December, I'm overseeing 150ish or so candidates as they come to Redmond. I have a TON of help along the way from teammates who are helping with scheduling and travel arrangements. A lot of 1-off situations come up on the daily so I bunker down and set myself up for rapid response firefighting. There's a beautiful period between Thanksgiving and New Year's where things pleasantly slow down a bit. In January and February, I'm back out on the road but by this time, I will have (hopefully) finished all of my intern hiring and will be close to meeting my fulltime goals. By the time I get to winter recruiting, I'm thinking about recruiting for the next year and working on those long term relationships #thelonggame and hanging out with the kids that we've hired so far #DISNEYLAND and getting them hyped for dat techie good life.

In the early spring, I hit a conference or two (NSBE National two years running! See you in Boston?!) and spend time with my team (#SXSW2016). I mastermind summer plans for my kiddies and devote time internet stalking all the other kiddies that decided go to Facebook, Google and Amazon for the upcoming summer. When the interns arrive, it's just 100% shenanigans for the next 3 months. My team and I, nay, all of Microsoft devotes the days of summer to our interns. I spend a lot of my days doing 1:1s with the kiddies, getting to know them better and helping them make the most of summer. My office is home to many a therapy session during this season. Throughout the summer I'm organizing, attending or supporting 2-3 evening events per week. In addition, I help run the Intern Social Club (ISC). The ISC is a coalition of 100ish kickass recent college grads (aka the raddest baddest people at Microsoft) who pair up and host a random group of interns for the summer.  You can think of us as camp counselors or spirit guides. The ISC Program is totes one of my favorite things about my job. Always back to the people- it's so legit connecting with some of the most energetic, motivated whipper snappers at the company. I feel like the summer is just one giant bonding experience. Bonding with my interns, bonding with my teammates, bonding with the ISCs. It feels fucking magical. The summer reaches its peak in mid-July when UR throws a stupidly epic event for ALL the interns #sigevent. It's one of the moments where everyone comes together and I just have hit pause on my life to revel in awe of what my team is capable of and pinch myself to make sure my life is real.

And then the interns go home, we say our goodbyes, and a few weeks later I'm back on campus chasing them down with my best friends in the fall. And that's it! That's all there is to it! #NBD

It's worth mentioning that at Microsoft, we split our recruiting into two different functions. Everything I've just laid out is typical of a finder. Finders go out and find the candidates. The second half of recruiting (honestly the most important half) is handled by the fillers. Fillers advocate for our candidates once they receive their offer, helping them to negotiate their offers with the hiring team and guide our candidates through the offer process. I'm eternally grateful to everything fillers do for my candidates.

So, in case you need more food for thought…

Things I seriously love about my job:

• Microsoft: I am legitimately proud to recruit for Microsoft. Personally, this company means a lot to me. There's a reason why I chose to start my career here and I really believe in our mission, our culture, and most important to me, our people. I can't really see myself recruiting for any other company.
• Dream Maker: Some people literally describe Microsoft as their dream company and a lot of people work extremely hard to get to where they are. It is an emotionally rewarding experience to play a small role in helping someone achieve their dream. It's some inspirational shit, y'all.
• Coaching Opportunities: I can't help it, I love the mentorship aspect of my job. I'm an older sibling through and through and I really like being able to bring that to my relationships with my candidates.
• Job Autonomy: How many other jobs out there virtually give you free reign? I have full control over how I recruit at my schools and I get to set my own schedule.
• SO MUCH FUN: Like sometimes I can't believe I #getpaid to do some of the shit I do. Attending rad conferences, throwing super cool parties, hanging with amazing people, like wtffffff.
• I was born to do this: but actually. My job is basically to be myself. Ain't no better way to live your life.

Things I am not into:

• Unpleasant people: I wanted to use an expletive, but Larbear insists that I try to be more creative with my language. Okay but for reals you know what's not awesome? Being subjected to entitled assholes. I hate to admit this, but having a negative interaction with someone can seriously ruin my whole day. I'm learning to not take things personally, but the struggle is real y'all. It's especially hard when you're working so hard and someone decides to shat all over you. At the end of the day, part of my job is being a gatekeeper against people who suck so better for them to reveal themselves to me sooner rather than later. #ughbutstilllllllll
• Being away from home (for too long) - Okay, so work travel makes me feel hella VIP and kind of feeds my ego in an unhealthy/awesome way (that corporate credit card tho!). A big part of me really enjoys being on the road and doing my thing with my recruiting team. However, it's rough times being away from bae, my friends and my own bed for weeks at a time. It gets taxing.

Along the lines of things that aren't my favorite, I wanted to share some other things you may want to take into consideration if you're contemplating this job. I'm not trying to deter you away from recruiting but I think it's only fair to lay everything out on the table. Actually, when I was interviewing for this job, I felt like ALL of the managers spent a good portion of their time playing the no-but-really-are-you-sure-you-want-to-do-this game and making sure I was aware of all of the difficult parts of the job.

• Work/life balance is nonexistent during certain periods of the year. For the last several weeks I've been putting in 12+ hour days and working weekends. It's a necessary evil and honestly, for the most part I'm happy to do it because I'd rather be on top of my shit at work but you should really evaluate if this kind of schedule is a good fit for your lifestyle. MAD RESPECT for the parents on my team, so legit.
• Repetitive - I was able to lay out my entire year as a recruiter in a glorified 1 page essay. There are many opportunities to shake it up and tweak your processes and although some new challenges may present themselves, you're essentially going through the same motions every year for your core job. This is probably a pro and con. On the one hand you know exactly what to expect and can refine your technique year over year, but on the other than you might get really bored.
• Unclear Career Trajectory: There isn't a clear career path beyond recruiting. In engineering, there was a clear leveling scheme to go from engineering I to II to senior to manager, etc. If you want to climb the corporate ladder, you're going to have to forge your own path from recruiting. It's meaningful to make intentional decisions about taking on new roles in your career, but you may feel like you're missing out on a career roadmap that most people get to have.
• Projected Short Lifespan: Most recruiters last 3-4 seasons before they need to move on to something else. The lifestyle is really suited to someone who has flexibility in sacrificing personal obligations (or has a phenomenal support system). I would maybe go as far as to say that this job isn't sustainable for the long haul. Although, there are a few shining examples of recruiters that have been going strong for 10+ years (shout out to you, Andy Gottlieb!). I think I might be one of those #recruiters4lyfe, but only time will tell.

Okay, now knowing what you know, are ready to pursue this career path? HECK YEA LET'S DO THIS.

Some thoughts on next steps:

• Meet other Recruiters: As many as you can! A natural place to start is the recruiting team at your current company (or school). People are really flattered when you want to know about them. LinkedIn is crawling with recruiters and the thing about us is- recruiters are always recruiting and would be happy to talk to you about what we do and get you plugged into the community.
• Determine where you want to recruit and what you want to recruit for: Each company has their own style and philosophy on recruiting. As you meet other recruiters, take notes and start forming your own opinions. Do you want to recruit for tech companies? For business firms? For a big company? For a small company? For college students? For industry candidates or executives? What are the processes at each company and which styles resonate most with you?
• Build your personal brand: Okay, you've done the research and have figured out what you want to recruit for and have a top 5 list of where you'd want to do it. YAY! Now it's time to do some self-reflection. Articulate  your superpower in a way that makes it clear why you'd be amazing for this job.

Examples of attributes I've seen in my most successful teammates:

• Genuine Passion for the Company: Your job is to convince super smart, super awesome candidates that your company is where they should start their career. This is not a conversation you want to hold without true conviction for your company.
• Persuasive Public Speaking: Presentations to 100+ people are more than a weekly occurrence during the fall. The ability to craft and deliver a compelling story that makes your company relatable and desirable is an invaluable skill.
• Organizational Skills: Okay but for reals. Tracking 1000+ candidates each year is insane.
• Abundance of Energy: Do people describe you as the energizer bunny? The ability to turn it on when you're running on empty or the ability to recharge efficiently will be necessary at critical points in the season.
• Confidence:  As with most things in life, confidence is key. It can be intimidating to deal with super savvy, cream of the crop candidates. Having confidence helps you hold your own among coveted talent (that know they're coveted). My gal pal/personal hero, Mindy Kaling, has an incredible perspective on confidence. 

If you're interested in my personal journey to recruiting, this post probably lays it out best. 

Anything I didn't cover? Sound off in the comments or shoot me an email: hellokimwin@gmail.com

Growing up Vietnamese-AMERICAN and Phong Nha-Ke Bang: The Caves of Wonders

Oh Harrow, dear friends. I am balls deep into this vietventure and have been absolutely hashtag-amazed with every stop we've made. My parents are both Vietnamese (well, they'd tell you they are Americans now :D) and have been spending their first 10 years of retirement exploring their motherland and all of Asia. My father is from the south, my mother from the north- both immigrating to the United States separately after the Vietnam War ended. They met at the University of Washington while they were both studying to become chemical engineers. They waited 20 years before returning to their native land and I feel so grateful to be able to come back with them regularly and learn about my culture.

Before my first trip to Vietnam in 2008, I actually didn't identify with the Vietnamese part of my Vietnamese-American heritage. My parents raised my brother and me to fully embrace America, as they did when they first came here. Each of my parents fully recognized the opportunities available to them in the states and believed in their potential to achieve them. They committed to rebuilding their lives here. Growing up, we spoke English at home and they raised us without typical traditional Vietnamese parenting values. The Vietnamese values that they did instill in us, they were thoughtful in how those values would translate to our American life. They considered themselves to be forward thinking folks :P Sure, they recounted stories of their motherland, but I felt the point of those stories were more to help us to feel grateful to be in America.

I started looking more closely at the Vietnamese part of my heritage after my first trip here. First, my dad is a completely different person in Vietnam. He is super outgoing and ridiculously friendly, striking up conversations with strangers literally everywhere we go. In America, he's a bit more of a homebody, satisfied enough with our nuclear family that he doesn't seek social activity outside of our house. He is also a fierce protector when we're here, making sure that we're always safe and weary of being cheated. He has always been a confident man, but he really kicks it up a whole bunch of notches when he is navigating (or rather, commanding) his motherland. Seeing my dad light up in Vietnam truly sparked my feelings of fondness for this country.

I am happy to be feel connected to my parents' motherland. For me, forging a bond with my Vietnamese heritage wasn't going to happen in America, it needed to happen here, fully immersed in the country's chaos and beauty. I suspect that I still don't typically identify with being Vietnamese the way others might, but I have a sincere appreciation for the place my parent's came from and I know their journey from Vietnam to America largely influenced my upbringing. I wish my Vietnamese was better, but I know enough to haggle :P and I know enough to make meaningful connections with folks that I meet. I am grateful to be here with my parents feel lucky to have the heritage that I have.

And with that, let me tell you a little bit about Phong Nha-Ke Bang, another UNESCO World Heritage site featuring larger than life caverns of stalagmites and stalactites.

My parents have been exploring Vietnam quite intensely for the past few years, but this trip was the FIRST time they had ever been to this national park. I love that Vietnam still offers these surprises, as small of a country as it is. I was so impressed with how well maintained the park is. Vietnam doesn't have a great reputation for taking care of their natural treasures. Beautiful landscapes are littered with trash and there seems to be no regard towards preserving fragile areas for future generations I am so pleased that they seemed to actually put thought into this park. In the Paradise caves, they built a wonderful walkway through these gigantic caverns creating a genuine experience that minimizes the disturbance of these sleeping rock giants.

The ride to the caves was hands down THE MOST BEAUTIFUL motorcycle ride I have ever been on. It is quite popular nowadays to buy a bike and explore the country from north to south or vice versa. If this is something you're considering doing, seriously put this national park on your list of stops. The surroundings felt UNREAL. I rode with my dad, which is always really fun! Kellen rode with Ethan but I couldn't resist a photo op with my favorite TA :D

Thanks for reading! Next up on my tour de Vietnam is a visit to my favorite beach town of all time, Nha Trang. Can't wait for some sun and sand :)

Thank you, Dr. King

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, friends. For those of you that have this day off, I hope you are enjoying it fully. I hope that you are also taking a bit of time to remember that this day is about honoring a man whose life's work was dedicated to achieving true equality for all in the United States.

I watched Selma last week with Mitch and a couple friends. It was a random weeknight and we had the entire theatre to ourselves. I had never seen a trailer for Selma and didn't know what it is was about until Mitch informed me, "It's the MLK movie" on the way into the theatre. This movie was intense and incredible, to say the least. It wasn't overly dramatic, but I was still feeling all the feels. The part of the movie that really spoke to me was when Dr. King was putting out the call for anyone who believed in their cause to come to Selma for the march to Montgomery after they were met with violent brutality on their first attempt. There's a montage of American families watching the footage at home and some folks are so compelled by what they are seeing that they pack their bags and go to Selma. It made me question whether or not I would have gone, even though I feel so deeply for causes like this. Sometimes I struggle balancing my emotions for such things and not quite knowing what action to take or feeling guilty for not taking any action at all. It's something that I'm still figuring out.

There's something about humans being so cruel to other humans that I cannot understand. Hateful discrimination against someone because of their race, religion, sexuality, or any other distinguishing quality that doesn't affect the way another lives their life is a concept that I cannot accept or empathize with. I can't believe the Civil Rights Movement happened just about 50 years ago. I like to think that we've come a decent way since then, but it scares me to know that when our mothers and fathers were adolescents, the KKK was in their heyday and African Americans were being bullied by government officials and state laws out of their right to vote. That time period is too close for comfort and it is clear that we are not out of the woods on the issue of equality in America.

I asked Mitch how he felt about the movie afterwards, wondering if his Nigerian nationality would offer a different perspective from mine. He simply replied, "I feel the way any decent human being should feel." Empathy for the struggle of our fellow humans.

I am sad knowing that Dr. King isn't with us today mostly because I think about how much more work there is to be done and how much more progress we could have made with this leadership and guidance. Eventually, I think we'll get there (just think about how far we've come since the Dark Ages). We're going to figure this out. I believe in us.

January Focus

Hidy Ho, Terrific Tuesday Friends!! Meep, I know! I'm posting on not MWF. I have a good reason, tho :) I've set aside MWF exclusively for style posts. When I want to occasionally post on other topics, I'll use other days of the week (i.e. Tuesday!). These will probably come and go on an inconsistent schedule, but I am looking forward to expanding a bit beyond style (no worries, my main motivation for this blog completely remains sharing my silly outfit posts!). After reading a goal post by one of my favorite bloggers, Love Darbie, I have taken to the idea of monthly goal setting. A monthly schedule keeps the focus of goals within reach and provides a great opportunity to reflect on a more regular basis as well. The following is what I have top of mind for this month.

Hit Body Burn 4x this month
Like most folks, the New Year motivates me to take up my fitness goals with a fresh perspective. Body Burn is currently my favorite workout class. Classes are every Monday and Wednesday and I have exactly 2 Mondays and 2 Wednesdays this month before I leave for winter recruitment travel! Already 1 down! Boom!

Workout 3x/week while on work travel
Not gonna lie, I am completely terrified of this one. Switching jobs last May was the best decision for my emotional health, but I completely used the job transition and extensive travel as an excuse to slack on my physical health. I'm using my two weeks of travel at the end of the month to figure this one out so I can be better prepared for Fall 2015.

Go to sleep with a tidy bedroom every night
Ah. This will also prove to be a bit challenging for me. Mitch thinks it's ridiculous that I have such a hard time keeping my room clean. I fell into the habit of sacrificing my room as the first thing to go unmaintained back in college and haven't developed good habits since then. Having friends visit for the holidays was the perfect excuse to deep clean my entire apartment so I shall strive to maintain this month and hopefully develop habits that last me through the year!

When I set out to write this post, I thought I'd have more goals to share. My main goal in life is to be happy and healthy. It sounds simple, but of course there are multiple moving pieces that contribute to that overall goal. The ones that I think are in pretty good shape are: maintaining a healthy relationship with bae, providing value at work, surrounding myself with good people and prioritizing time with my family. It's difficult to juggle everything and over the past few months, keeping my home in a state that is always welcoming and dedicating time to my physical health have fallen to the wayside. Having a clean home empowers me to feel productive and it's one less thing that could be bothering me. I tend to feel guilty when my room is a mess because more often than not, I'm sharing the space with Mitch. Being fit makes me feel strong and capable not just physically, but mentally as well.

Gotta say, it was helpful writing this out. I feel like I'll be able to focus on these goals with more intention. Do you guys have goals for the month or the new year? I'd love to hear them! We can keep each other accountable!

PS. If you're viewing my blog from a computer browser, I've added a new widget to my sidebar featuring all of the bloggers that I'm currently obsessing over right now. These are all people that I know in real life and love dearly. I trade outfit shots with Kat, Hector and Nini regularly. You'll find delicious vegetarian recipes and shenanigans in general over in Erin and Jade land. If you're in the mood for some career and life musings, Thompson and Kara are my faves. I love oogling over the fabulous, popular players of the fashion blog world, but to be honest, I find myself keeping up most with blogs penned by friends. Do you have a blog that you keep? I'd love to join your readership!

Real Talk

Hey guys. This post is different. Katrina recently gifted me a book about blogging and I've been thinking a lot about how I want to use this platform. When I restarted posting regularly this summer, I made a statement that I wanted to post not only about fashion, but post about my career, feelings and life. I dabbled with that a bit when I wrote this post about my three-year with bae. Since then, you've been treated to a slew of outfit posts. Don't get me wrong, that's totally still the main focus of this blog but I'm feeling compelled to do another real talk post.

I'm pretty sure that most of the folks that read my blog posts come through my facebook page meaning that a lot of you guys are folks that I've actually interacted with in real life. If you are my facebook friend, you may notice that I post regularly about what I'm up to and I generally keep it 100% positive. I intentionally do this because I'm aware that my status updates could potentially reach hundreds of people and I strongly believe in not using the newsfeed to share my shitty feelings. I don't do it to put on a face, I just want to be considerate of my newsfeed community. I legit enjoy my life. However, I understand that this may give the appearance that I'm leading a seemingly struggle free life. If you've ever had the pleasure of some 1:1 time with me (lolololol), you know that I keep it pretty real. I'll let you know what's up with me: the good, the bad, the ugly. I personally experience so much relief when I realize that someone I admire (friend, colleague, mentor) is also experiencing hardship. It reminds me that I am human, and that it is perfectly okay to not feel awesome all the time. Sometimes, when I perceive the people I look up to be leading flawless lives, it can make me feel like I'm not good enough. As if, hey- those folks make it look so easy to have it all, why can't I gracefully get my shit together? So this time around, I want to share some real shit about my last two years in the hopes that I can maybe provide the same relief to someone out there on the blogosphere. Not to assume that you guys look up to me, but I'm guessing you can catch wind of my intentions here. This is gonna be long. Sorry not sorry.

Let's start with a snapshot of my life before I started full time work at Microsoft. I have a loving family that supported the shit out of me and my academic pursuits. At the UW, I double majored in Electrical Engineering and Computer Engineering and I was super proud to be a kickass lady engineer in the making. I worked hard, but I spent a good amount of time worrying about my performance in school. I still made time for fun, meaningful friendships and relationships (that I diligently documented on facebook), but stress was no stranger to my daily existence. My junior year, I scored an impressive rotation of internships: Microsoft (Summer 2011), Google (Fall 2011), Amazon (Winter 2012). I started dating Mitch that summer and totally felt like I was on top of the world. I accepted a full time offer with Microsoft after graduation and it felt like everything that I had worked so hard for the past 17 years of my school life was coming to a head. I assumed my life would continue to skyrocket from there.

I started full time adult life with some hefty expectations. I knew I was viewed as intelligent. I knew I was able to connect with people on a personal level and that had always afforded me certain advantages and opportunities. I knew I had potential for greatness and damnit, I was determined to fulfill the expectations of being a young, good-looking (SUPER HUMBLE), confident go-getter. I had everything going for me and there was nothing standing in my way to a fast track career path to Program Management Excellence.

EXCEPT THOSE FIRST 1.5 YEARS OF WORK WERE MORE OR LESS FUCKING AWFUL.

At least I perceived them to be. The feeling of failure didn't happen immediately, but it started the first week of work when I was given an area of ownership that I didn't feel comfortable with right away. Huh, everything had always come so relatively easily to me before! I never had to really struggle for anything! Perhaps I just wasn't used to not being awesome. Yes, I figured I just needed to give myself time. I would rock the shit out of this project eventually! Hello, I was fucking KIM NGUYEN. And Kim Nguyen always wins out in the end. Note: I've been #blessed with a genuine sense of relatively high/positive self esteem.

I was nervous, but I set out to conquer. Basically, over the next year I suffered. HARD. My work content was exceptionally challenging for me. At first I thought that I just wasn't smart enough to overcome the technical depth needed to truly own this space. Later, I realized that the fact that I was actually completely uninterested in my work content contributed to 99% of my technical struggles. I am a huge believer in the Fake It Till You Make It, Bitches mindset but GUYS, sometimes you just can't. I naturally fell into the "Susie Sunshine" persona at work and it took quite a while before I would admit to myself that I just wasn't cut out for this area of work. And not gonna lie, tumultuous events surrounding my leadership contributed A METRIC TON load to my struggle bus. It was quite difficult for me to accept that I couldn't be good at everything. This realization was important for my emotional health, but it took many months of frustration, angry crying on a weekly basis and constantly taking out my crazy on those closest to me. I practically ruined two of the most important relationships in my life during this time. I can't be more grateful to Mitch and Kasey for their unconditional love but I put them both through hell while I was struggling to come to terms with myself and my perceived failure. After everything I put them through, I still can't believe our relationships survived 2013. And for reals, hashtag grateful and hashtag blessed to have them both in my life.

My main motivation in life had always been to be happy. I sincerely believe that I deserve to be happy and operate hardcore on a "Live your fucking life!" attitude. I think this is one of the qualities that people find most attractive about me. As long as I wasn't hurting anyone, I wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of getting what I wanted. I cannot articulate the frustration I was feeling over being so limited in my work life. I felt trapped. I also felt ashamed of my unhappiness. Here I was, a privileged girl making a ton of cash (to the tune of $100k, you all know how much software engineers make, I'm not even going to lie). Roof over my head, so much to eat, all of my material wants and needs satisfied, supportive friends and family. What right did I have to be so dissatisfied with life?! I was one hot mess, guys. I was turning into a CRAZY person and shit was getting so real.

Eventually, enough was enough. I remember sitting in Kasey's office during one of my weekly rituals of decompression discussions. Usually these consisted of me expressing extreme frustration over needing to find SOME way to be successful on my team and Kasey loyally consoling me. These talks were continually getting more and more angsty as I felt more out of control of my situation. But this time, something just fucking clicked in my brain. I realized that I didn't need to prove myself to this team, to my manager, to this project. I was so tired of being tired. I am fucking Kim Nguyen, damnit! I had a choice and I deserved to be happy. On that day, I decided that I was going to leave the team and I decided that everything was going to be okay.

And holy fucking shit. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. BUT ACTUALLY. I decided to stop wallowing and DO SOMETHING.

Since day one of experiencing the greatness that is Catie Thorpe, my UW recruiter for Microsoft, I had always wanted to be a University Recruiter. I honestly couldn't believe a job like that actually existed. Travel around the country to meet bright, young minds and tell them about how awesome Microsoft is? Mentor college kids and help them achieve their dreams?! FUCK YEA, sign me up! It was something that I really wanted to try, but it was such a huge deviation from what I thought my career would be (i.e. saving the world through technology). I had decided it was in my eventual "5 year plan," but I was haphazardly committed to it. Kasey had planted a seed that day. "Kim, you've always wanted to do recruiting. What is stopping you?" OMG, I thought, WHAT WAS STOPPING ME?! NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Fuck it, it was time to live my life again.

I reached out to Catie and she helped me schedule some time with a couple recruiting managers. During the time of the meetings, there weren't any job openings. No matter, I was willing to wait. I faithfully stalked job openings for UR and other PM roles throughout Microsoft. Despite my epic struggle bus year, I effing LOVED (and still deeply love) this company. I didn't want to be anywhere else. Finally, a position opened!!!!! I reached out immediately and within one month of my first informational, I started my first day as a Microsoft University Recruiter.

It's been almost exactly 6 months since the switch and I promise things aren't all butterflies and rainbows. But for reals, I couldn't be any more satisfied with my work life right now. I went to hell and back to get here but I finally found something I feel I was born to do. I have an epic background that lends itself uniquely to this area of work and I love- I fucking love meeting and mentoring kids at my schools. I wouldn't change my journey to get here. Looking back at my first year and half motivates me to intentionally choose to be grateful for my job every single day. No matter what crazy shit comes my way, the perspective I've gained allows me to manage my stress and choose reasonable feelings. I cannot express how lucky I feel to be where I am right now.

Fuck. That was a lot of shit. To wrap it up, if anyone else is struggling, please know that you are not alone. No matter what your social media would have you believe, there are a lot of people going through similar struggles. You are strong and capable of finding your path to happiness. The day to day struggle can be so real and if you ever need someone to talk to or commiserate with, I'm here: hellokimwin@gmail.com

Thank you for reading and letting me share my story with you. You really have no idea how much it means to me.

Kim

*Edit* I also feel like I should give a REALLY BIG shoutout to all of my friends, family and coworkers that have supported me during my time at Microsoft. The incredible people that I've met during my time at this company is truly the reason why I think it is one of the greatest places to work. Also, having a good-looking, kind hearted office mate also helps :D

Real Talk

Hi, Friends. At the beginning of the summer, I expressed a desire to do more than just post pretty pictures. Recent moods and events have inspired me to share something more personal with this post.

Today is my 3 year anniversary with the big guy! It's pretty surreal. We've come a long way since our first date after our intern signature event at the Woodland Park Zoo in 2011 (Microsoft FTW!). Every relationship has its own story and like many other couples, we are constantly navigating the ebb and flow of our relationship. I used to think relationship nirvana for me meant cruise control. Reaching a state with my significant other where conflict didn't exist and everything just felt easy. "Oh, we just need to work out these problems and then everything will be perfect." I've come to realize that I will never reach a state as an individual where I've worked out all of my problems. I will never be perfect. Yes, I feel confident about myself and my abilities to lead a good life, but that doesn't mean I live my life without emotional conflict. I can get down with my emo self and can be very sensitive to my surroundings and the people around me, especially when I am under stress (which is more often than not, unfortunately). I know there are a lot of cliche lines out there about, "Being you is enough!" and "It's okay to not be perfect!" but seriously, I am enough and it's okay if I can't be perfect. So what does that mean for my relationship?

It means that I've come to deeply appreciate a partner who is willing to work together to evolve our relationship as we continually evolve as people. I can't lie, when I first met Mitch, I was more focused on his beautiful body and his perfection on paper, Caltech engineer employed by Microsoft with an interesting cultured background, than I was with who he was as a person. I felt prideful. He was my trophy, and our relationship suffered for some time because of it.

Now, I feel lucky to be with someone who truly lives his life with integrity. I am grateful to be with someone who patiently listens when I need to emotionally process a bad day and responds with kindness. I am inspired by his desire for self improvement in every aspect of his life and he motivates me to think critically about my actions and feelings. Thank you for a wonderful 3 years, Mitch. I love you, and I look forward to continuously growing together.

Sorry not sorry if things got a bit deep there for a bit! On a much lighter note, I think Mitch is ridiculously good looking and has incredible style. Hello, did you see that AMERICA tank?! It't not even the 4th of July and he was rocking that tank like nobody's business. I've been toying with the idea of running a style blog for him, but my genius friend, Katrina, came up with the best idea ever: Mitch Mondays! Get ready! It's happening!

P.S. I'll follow up with a post for my outfit later this week!