Hi Y'all! Happy Fall! I just got back from an incredible wedding weekend adventure in Yosemite National Park! Mitch and I, along with Kasey and Niky got to witness the epic marriage of our two friends, Mandi and Eric, in an insanely gorgeous setting. I have a whole week's worth of blog posts from our shenanigans but THIS WEEK is dedicated to a different marriage- my own!
Last November, Mitch and I made the mutual decision to get married. Two weeks later on December 4th, 2015, we did. BTW I totally had to look that date up (no shame :P). We scheduled an appointment with the first judge that was available, invited a handful of very close friends and celebrated after our courthouse ceremony at the Old Spaghetti Factory with a DQ ice cream cake. I know that sounds so insanely practical, maybe almost too straightforward but our family and friends would tell you that is the most Kim & Mitch (aka Kitch) way to get married EVER. We are pragmatic people when it comes to these type of things.
Last November, Mitch and I made the mutual decision to get married. Two weeks later on December 4th, 2015, we did. BTW I totally had to look that date up (no shame :P). We scheduled an appointment with the first judge that was available, invited a handful of very close friends and celebrated after our courthouse ceremony at the Old Spaghetti Factory with a DQ ice cream cake. I know that sounds so insanely practical, maybe almost too straightforward but our family and friends would tell you that is the most Kim & Mitch (aka Kitch) way to get married EVER. We are pragmatic people when it comes to these type of things.
I was never the type of little girl that day dreamed about her wedding day. To be clear, no shade to the girls that do but it just wasn't something that little Kim thought about it. As adult Kim, I didn't put a ton of emphasis on marriage as a milestone for our relationship. I mentioned it once, early on when we were trying to define the seriousness of our relationship.
I had been vocal early on about wanting marriage to be in our future. I think I phrased it like, "Please only continue to be in a relationship with me if you think marriage is a possibility". I didn't have a timeline for it but I wanted to be clear that I wanted a relationship that was going somewhere long term. And now that I really think about it, my request to Mitch was more about me wanting him to stay only if he felt building a life together was something he would eventually want. It was my way of asking him to actively choose our relationship. We didn't speak of this often, but it was a good way to check in with each other whenever we had our bumps in the road. HEY- do we still see a future here? Are we still in it to win it? Marriage was never an end goal in these conversations, but for us at the very least, it was one of our checkpoints. At just 4.5 years in, we found ourselves confidently and consistently answering YES to those questions. We eventually arrived to a point in our relationship where no matter what challenges came up, we knew we were committed to working through them.
So here we are :) Does it feel different to be married? No lie, it is fun AF to call Mitch my husband. Mitch is unbelievably gorgeous, undeniably intelligent, relentlessly driven, lovingly kind, and above all else, extremely thoughtful. And I am lucky enough to call this human my person! FOREVER! Being married has made us more comfortable in talking about those long term, financial commitments together but as most couples would agree, it hasn't changed how our relationship fundamentally works. I told you earlier, we are extremely pragmatic :P We still talk quite a bit about our individualistic wants and needs in the context of our relationship. And we're still growing and working through our differences. But yea, I have to admit it feels pretty fucking awesome to have reached this milestone.
I feel beyond grateful to have found and more importantly, earned this partnership with Mitch. I consider it one of my life's greatest works to have built this foundation for our life together. The possibilities for where we could go next feel limitless
Side Bar: Our relationship was one of our favorite discussion topics as a young couple. How we felt about our relationship, how we felt the other behaved in our relationship, conversations about conversations we had in our relationship- it was a bit overkill sometimes. It felt like we constantly talked about the state of our relationship back in those early days but it was a huge factor in developing our communication styles between each other and learning how to give feedback to one another. Those talks were often challenging, but I developed so much as a person, especially in my empathy skills, while participating in those discussions with Mitch.
I had been vocal early on about wanting marriage to be in our future. I think I phrased it like, "Please only continue to be in a relationship with me if you think marriage is a possibility". I didn't have a timeline for it but I wanted to be clear that I wanted a relationship that was going somewhere long term. And now that I really think about it, my request to Mitch was more about me wanting him to stay only if he felt building a life together was something he would eventually want. It was my way of asking him to actively choose our relationship. We didn't speak of this often, but it was a good way to check in with each other whenever we had our bumps in the road. HEY- do we still see a future here? Are we still in it to win it? Marriage was never an end goal in these conversations, but for us at the very least, it was one of our checkpoints. At just 4.5 years in, we found ourselves confidently and consistently answering YES to those questions. We eventually arrived to a point in our relationship where no matter what challenges came up, we knew we were committed to working through them.
So here we are :) Does it feel different to be married? No lie, it is fun AF to call Mitch my husband. Mitch is unbelievably gorgeous, undeniably intelligent, relentlessly driven, lovingly kind, and above all else, extremely thoughtful. And I am lucky enough to call this human my person! FOREVER! Being married has made us more comfortable in talking about those long term, financial commitments together but as most couples would agree, it hasn't changed how our relationship fundamentally works. I told you earlier, we are extremely pragmatic :P We still talk quite a bit about our individualistic wants and needs in the context of our relationship. And we're still growing and working through our differences. But yea, I have to admit it feels pretty fucking awesome to have reached this milestone.
I feel beyond grateful to have found and more importantly, earned this partnership with Mitch. I consider it one of my life's greatest works to have built this foundation for our life together. The possibilities for where we could go next feel limitless
I am so happy to have these photos to commemorate this time in our life. As much as this post is about diving into marriage without the fanfare, the one thing I knew I wanted was an epic photo session (hello, have you met me?!). it is wonderful to have an excuse to gather our families together and take photos that I will literally cherish for the rest of my life. We took these on a warm day in August, the day before threw ourselves a giant party (more on that in my next post). These photos represent a beautiful, crazy fusion of our cultures.
My parents are from Vietnam and Mitch is from Nigeria so we thought it would be cool to wear traditional outfits that showed off our cultures. In Nigeria, it is typical for each side of the family to wear matching, contrasting prints for the wedding ceremony so you know who is from the groom's side and who is from bride's side. Although we didn't have a ceremony, we loved this concept for photos. We picked purple for Mitch's family and yellow for mine. Mitch's family wore traditional Igbo outfits and mine wore traditional Vietnamese ao dais (literally translation is long shirt/blouse). My brother and sister-wifey had our ao dais, along with their ao dais and my parent's ao dais handmade in Little Saigon in California. For Kasey and Niky, we ordered these chinese qipao dresses last minute (Amazon prime, holla!) since we couldn't find ready-made ao dais that we liked. Technically, my grandfather is from China, so I think we can let is slide :) Mitch's mother had all of our Nigerian outfits made in Nigeria before she came to visit us.
My parents are from Vietnam and Mitch is from Nigeria so we thought it would be cool to wear traditional outfits that showed off our cultures. In Nigeria, it is typical for each side of the family to wear matching, contrasting prints for the wedding ceremony so you know who is from the groom's side and who is from bride's side. Although we didn't have a ceremony, we loved this concept for photos. We picked purple for Mitch's family and yellow for mine. Mitch's family wore traditional Igbo outfits and mine wore traditional Vietnamese ao dais (literally translation is long shirt/blouse). My brother and sister-wifey had our ao dais, along with their ao dais and my parent's ao dais handmade in Little Saigon in California. For Kasey and Niky, we ordered these chinese qipao dresses last minute (Amazon prime, holla!) since we couldn't find ready-made ao dais that we liked. Technically, my grandfather is from China, so I think we can let is slide :) Mitch's mother had all of our Nigerian outfits made in Nigeria before she came to visit us.
Mitch and I had two sets of clothing. The red and blue outfits are a typical wedding outfit for Vietnamese brides and grooms. Doesn't Mitch look out-of-this-world uhhhhmazing in his blue brocade? I can't get over it. The gold designs on my ao dai are hand drawn. Up close, it's essentially gold puffy paint :D For my Nigerian outfit, my maxi skirt+blouse combo is less traditional (although to be quite honest, I'm not sure exactly what is traditional), but I am so stoked to wear this maxi skirt out in the real world. Hands down the best part of our outfits were our crowns! Each of our outfits was topped off with beautiful headwear.
In addition to celebrating our cultures, these photos celebrate the most important people in our lives, the ones who shaped us into who we are today. My favorite part of this day was witnessing our two families come together for the first time. It was perfect. As you can probably tell, we had a ton of fun taking these photos.
I can't say enough good things about my favorite photographer in the world, Dara Oke. These photos speak for themselves but she is incredible to work with. Spending your hard earned dollars on an exceptional photographer is rarely something you regret. The hard part is getting time on their busy books :) I am so grateful she shared her talent and artistry with us.
This day will forever be remembered as one of my favorite days in the history of ever. Many reasons to be beyond grateful.
Until we meet again!
Kim
In addition to celebrating our cultures, these photos celebrate the most important people in our lives, the ones who shaped us into who we are today. My favorite part of this day was witnessing our two families come together for the first time. It was perfect. As you can probably tell, we had a ton of fun taking these photos.
I can't say enough good things about my favorite photographer in the world, Dara Oke. These photos speak for themselves but she is incredible to work with. Spending your hard earned dollars on an exceptional photographer is rarely something you regret. The hard part is getting time on their busy books :) I am so grateful she shared her talent and artistry with us.
This day will forever be remembered as one of my favorite days in the history of ever. Many reasons to be beyond grateful.
Until we meet again!
Kim
Beautifully written!! This is probably one of my favorite posts by you so far in your loooong blogging experience. First of all, let's talk about the writing! I can't help it but smile when I read how you express yourself about your relationship with Mitch. Communication is, in my opinion, the basis of a successful relationship, in like, any type of relationship, and I can attest that you guys have this aspect nailed to PERFECTION. You guys are so real and pragmatic, as you mention, but you also have so much empathy and understanding for the other person that it's incredible how you're always beating to the same rhythm. You don't need to write two pages describing this because I can feel it! It's something that's just there, and it is magical, and it is contagious. One look, one smile, one gesture from any of you can tell everything to the other person about how you're feeling and what you want to do. It's unbelievable! The second part I loved about this is how now you've brought your families and friends into this amazing relationship and it all just blends in so well! Not only are you guys the perfect match, but your families as well seem to be getting along so well in these photos, they look adorable in all of their colorful outfits, and they just blend in so well because they all have the same expression in their faces. You give us some hope in this world that we can embrace our cultures and heritage and value our differences as much as we value our similarities. And last but not least, Dara captured all these feelings and this synergy of love with her photos and artistry. You all look gorgeous!!! And your outfits are all on point, colorful, cheerful, and most of all, you all seem to be wearing these beautiful garments with pride. Like really, Vietnam and Nigeria look as if they were born to be together, just like you and Mitch. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you two, but if of something I'm certain, it's that it will be fabulous and extremely colorful! Looking forward to your reception post, love you tons!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love how playful and beautiful all of these photos are - just like you and Mitch. You are so pragmatic in your approach to relationships, and it is so inspiring to read about it. Congratulations on a beautiful Kitch Hitch! :)
ReplyDeleteThis photoshoot is amazing! I love that y'all pulled from both of your cultures and came out with this beautiful masterpiece! There's so much love in these pictures that even a stranger like me can feel the bond between you two! <3
ReplyDelete